‘You are good and do good’ - Psalm 119:68

by Eagy Family on Feb.11, 2008, under Family

God is good.

Yesterday afternoon Katie noticed some spotting (bleeding). This morning it was much more intense. After an emergency trip to the ultra-sound group at Saint Al’s and then to the OB/GYN, we were told that our fourth child had passed away.

This is an odd experience - I will never have the opportunity to hold my fourth child, kiss them, hug them - I don’t even know if it was a boy or a girl. But they are still very real to me, and the grief is real as well.

But I have great joy - for I believe that my child is today with their Lord and Savior! For just as the word says:

“Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts. On you was I cast from my birth, and from my mother’s womb you have been my God.” Psalm 22:9-10

“If you were blind, you would not have had sin; but since you say, ‘We see,’ your sin remains.” John 9:41

“Since the creation of the world God’s invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.” Romans 1:20

My child was not innocent (Psalm 58:3). Just like you and me they need justification through Christ to stand before God in judgment. But Paul and Jesus both imply that those who do not have access to Gods revelation of Christ in His gospel or through nature would have an excuse at judgment. I agree with many other greater thinkers than I that my child didn’t have this capacity nor this revelation - and so:

“…in God’s inscrutable way, he brings them under the forgiving blood of his Son. God in his justice will find a way to absolve infants who die of their depravity. It will surely be through Christ. But beyond that we would be guessing.” John Piper

How God will do this I don’t know. I would love to think that it looks like my child growing up at the knee of our Lord and Savior, learning daily from His own words, and coming to a saving faith in the knowledge of Jesus directly from Him!

And in the end I lean solely on the goodness of our God:

‘You are good and do good’ Psalm 119:68

And to paraphrase George Muller (I changed it to be about my child - his version was about his wife at her funeral):

The Lord was good, and did good, in giving my child to me.
The Lord was good and did good, in so shortly leaving my child to me.
The Lord was good and did good, in taking my child from me.

I know we will grieve and we will continue on. I thank you for your love, support and prayers. Mostly, I thank God for His goodness. May the life of my fourth child be to the glory of God alone.

Ryan
Proud papa of four

11 comments for this entry:

Grammy Nancy
February 11th, 2008 on 5:59 pm
Our love and prayers are with you as we grieve together over the baby we never got to know. May God be with you all.

Grammy and Papa
Tarah
February 11th, 2008 on 6:04 pm
I am so sorry. Hugs and kisses to you all and you are always in our prayers. Know you are loved.
Becca Hammagren
February 11th, 2008 on 6:19 pm
We are praying for you over in Oregon…
Ed ~ Amy
February 11th, 2008 on 6:53 pm
Praying for you…may God comfort you all.
Michelle
February 11th, 2008 on 8:24 pm
We are so sorry. Your post is very encouraging though, what a God-glorifying perspective you guys are having through this.
We too are praying for you all.
Heather Hughes
February 11th, 2008 on 9:01 pm
Katie & Ryan, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your fouth baby. I misscarried our 3rd child and yet God was good to give us two more. May He be your comfort through this time and may you grow closer to your savior becuase of this. Its so encouraging to see you seeking the Lord through this time. Katie, if you ever want to talk, I would love to talk with you, pray with you or even cry with you. You are in my prayers. All my love to you my dear sister in Christ.
Alicia
February 11th, 2008 on 9:16 pm
I’m so sorry, you guys. But what a wonderful thing you have done, typing all of this out, really making it something special. It made me cry to read it. Love you guys, and looking forward to seeing you and giving you a real hug in a couple weeks. (((((Eagy family)))))
Kevin and Judy
February 12th, 2008 on 9:05 am
We are so grateful that you were able to share your wonderful news a couple of days ago so we could celebrate precious life with you all! And now, today, our hearts are with you, as you have shared this sad, sad news. We love you ~ you are ALL precious to us!
stef
February 12th, 2008 on 9:06 am
hugs and prayers. Dad and stef
Chris Lynch
February 12th, 2008 on 11:03 am
I’m so sorry to hear about this trial you are dealing with, but your post is beautiful. Your picture of you child growing with Christ touched me deeply because I’ve never thought about it that way and it comforts me to know my Caitlin may be living that same joy. Chris
Elise
February 12th, 2008 on 2:41 pm
I’m quietly weeping here… how do we survive the pain this life brings? I know… look deep into your children’s eyes, into each other’s eyes… hold close, draw near to His feet. (((Ryan and Katie)))
We love you, and are praying for you.